tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7785231222522461771.post178350273364041709..comments2010-06-07T20:16:15.798-07:00Comments on Wife of an LDS Porn Addict: Sharing my Thoughts on Beginning to HealLDS Wife of a porn addicthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832762744743376221noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7785231222522461771.post-66361084797358860542010-06-07T20:16:15.798-07:002010-06-07T20:16:15.798-07:00Thank you for writing all that you have. I have b...Thank you for writing all that you have. I have been dealing with my husband's pn addiction since I found out 6 months into our marriage. We have been married 10 years now and he has never gotten help for it and refuses to even go to marriage counceling. I have been looking for help and advice online because I am really at the end of my patience with it. He has never been truely penitent and I have tried everything from policing his internet use and asking the Bishop to call him in for a confession (this in the earlier days) to leaving him completely alone about it and leaving it up to him (in recent years). So many women who I've found on the internet post that their husbands confessed and said they were so sorry and that they wanted help. The thing that I'm so discouraged about is that this has never happened with my husband. He is such a good man in so many ways but this has really ruined our marriage. He doesn't see it that way at all. Actually, he told me last month when I confronted him and asked if he'd been viewing Pn, "And by the way, I'm tired of taking all the blame for that, I'm not doing that anymore." <br /><br />So, the discouragement mounts as I think: does this mean that he's in an even worse place than ever before that he would make that statement?<br /><br />I love him, but most of that love is a love of pity for a fellow human being. I feel like the love I had has been killed and I don't want to live life like that. I'd rather be alone. Now I just take my joy in our 5 year old child. Most of the time there's little to no involement from my husband in our home life, so it seems to be just us anyway a lot of time. <br /><br />I hope and pray that you are ok. I went to the temple last week for the first time in a while. My husband doesn't understand the urgency in all this, but I feel it and it's been making me a sick, nervous, depressed wreck inside (which I have to hide all the time, of course). After the temple session, I felt calm and peaceful. I don't know what decision I'll make yet, mostly because I don't know what decision my husband will make. I'm going to pray really hard for the next month or two and if he decides he wants help and to submit to the Lord once and for all, I am willing to work on this. But I honestly don't have much hope at all for that. Every signal I get from him denies the possibility. <br /><br />Thanks for blogging, and thanks for letting me vent as well here. Please share any advice that you have for me as well. I don't want my 5-year-old son to go through what your son is going through now, and I'm scared.<br />Thank You!jandyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10051691393422831234noreply@blogger.com